Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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