Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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