I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
