Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
