The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
