I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
