Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
