bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
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85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
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