D3 body, D1 cock
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
