In the future we'll all be gay
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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