You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
