Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
