I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
