My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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