I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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