This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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