Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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