I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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