he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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