i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
