sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
