We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
