Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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