we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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