So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
