He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
