Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Did I show you my penis last night?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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