What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
