I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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