i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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