Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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