We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Randomize
