just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
