I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
