he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
