Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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