I'm jealous of your bromance
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
