I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
