It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
