He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
