so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
