yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
