I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
