I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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