i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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