ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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