No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
