we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
