Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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