If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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