im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
