what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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