He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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