she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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