How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
