I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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