google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
