Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize