found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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