I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
