its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
